I would also include this rooster dil here because roosters do not have a peen. Good on you, mythical beast lovers.įor fantasy nerds you can get toy version of a hippogriff, phoenix, and dragon. Interestingly enough, compared to the real animal replicas, the mythical toys seem to be consistently made of quality silicone. There is a wide range of mythical creature dildos to be found on Amazon if you know where to look. If you’ve ever watched your favorite fantasy movies and thought, “Man, I wish I could really ride that hippogriff all the way to my bedroom,” you’re in luck. Now I don’t have the equipment to use that, but all I can think of is the sharp plastic seams that have to be in there. It also claims the Gladiator’s backdoor is useable, but it just looks like a pocket is built into the inflatable plastic as though if you inflated him up enough he’d have a tail. It comes with an o-ring in the crotch and a seven-inch realistic insertable toy (not silicone) that you can use or switch out for the strap-on friendly toy of your choice.
The drawn-on abs look more like a lobster tail than muscles. The body is shaped like a child’s drawing of someone with too many muscles. This inflatable doll is just under five feet tall and looks goofy as anything. That won’t be visually distracting at all, right? The wire is the same too-light color as the tongue so at least they color-coded it. Their brilliant solution: stick a wire running through his chin. The creepy pale tongue vibrates but that means you need to be able to get power to it. They clearly had pink paint so I don’t get why they’d leave the tongue so pale.
#THE DISHWASHER VAMPIRE SMILE PIG BEAD SKIN#
Why make the tongue that color? It’s lighter than his skin tone but even that wouldn’t be so bad if they hadn’t painted his lips such a soft lipstick pink in contrast. It reminds me of a bondage hood I’ve featured, except way, way worse. I have to assume that Pipedream’s Gladiator Doll is meant to be hot but his tongue-out design looks like this poor guy is in the process of choking on a peeled banana. Keep in mind that this isn’t silicone so it can’t be sterilized and it’s not extra firm so it can be on the floppy side.ĭoc Johnson offers 13.3-inch long The Fist for advanced users and 15.8-inch long The Hand for something more tapered. It takes time to stretch and acclimate to something of this size so this makes for a good practice tool to work up to it over time. These toys are great if you’re interested in fisting but not ready to do it with a partner. It’s been brought up to me, regarding these toys, that the majority of us already have a hand, two even, but the angle of going solo is a real hassle. There have been informative how-to articles for fisting on even Women’s Health Magazine and Cosmo. (That’s little fisting pun for you right there.)įisting is a practice that seems like it would be on the margins but is, again, more common than you’d think. I know plenty of good, averagely-kinky folks who are into fisting but that still doesn’t mitigate my initial creep-out factor when I see a dildo that’s a cast of a human arm. It comes in this fleshy peach tone, purple, and black. It’s 7.8 inches long in total (maybe six insertable) and 1.65 inches in diameter.
It’s made of PVC silicone so it isn’t 100 percent silicone and may have that classic toy smell at first. It’s quite flexible and the suction cup base is handy for sticking to shower walls, bathtubs, headboards, or any flat surface. There are more little stimulating nubs on this than I’ve seen in a good long while.
That said, if you’re all about textures, this toy has it.
It doesn’t make me want to get busy, it makes me want to call the CDC. I’m sorry, but this just looks like someone has contracted a horrible alien virus. It’s not pictured here, but if you click through you will see that it also has a suction cup base and balls. But when you make it in a skin-tone, I am getting off the boat and setting the dock on fire. This is how far down the rabbit hole I’ve gone: a dildo that looks like a realistic ear of corn? Sure, why not.
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